david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
