Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I fill condoms, not promises.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
