try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
