I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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