Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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