She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
