Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
