My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
