I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
