My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
