Just mADE A PArabola og urine
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
