Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
