I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
