I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
only if we run a train.
done.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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