Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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