if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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