i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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