matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
