I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
