Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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