im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
