it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
