clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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