I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
