1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and she was petting her beer can
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
