dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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