Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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