U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
