kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
