How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
