I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
