i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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