I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
