The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
