I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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