my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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