I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
