I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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