So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
