Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
