conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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