Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize