there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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