I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
