Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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