i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the gays at disneyland are vicious
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
