Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
