There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
