escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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