...so i touched it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
