I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Your cock deserves a montage
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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