you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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