How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He felt like a one man threesome
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Who died my cat blue again?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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