Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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